Ridiculous Requests
by The Flying Lion
Summary: Before saving the world the Smashers decide to put a price. And Lucario is unwittingly assigned to present these requests forward


Lucario gulped as he glanced at the group of assembled people. All smashers all from various worlds and games come together for a common cause. That cause being... they happened to just run into each other.

"All I wanted to do was meditate on top of the peak. And then what happens but a weird round creature attacks me for no reason..." Lucario grumbled recalling his meeting with Meta-Knight. Then immediately after their brawl and making peace the two ended up climbing aboard the giant warship Halberd to reclaim it also running into another strange fellow and several more before winning.

Thus after that all the smashers somehow ran into each other with Lucario's group encountering Mario and Ike's group with Samus's group also randomly showing up everyone had suddenly wanted to know what the heck was going on.

"I was having a tournament when Wario showed up and knocked me in the sky!" Mario yelled angrily. The fact he was out of his stereotypical Italian accent meant he was serious.

"I was just looking for my sword when I was stuck with Yoshi-WAH!" Link said with a random battle cry.

"Yoshi!" Yoshi... added on. I think.

"These guys attacked our Quadrant! And then they destroyed my mother ship!" Fox complained flailing his arms around.

"They stole my power suit." Samus Aran said rather coolly, though her fist was currently crunching a pistol she carried.

"Pi Pika pi!" Pikachu added on.

"Right... this Emissary is causing a whole mess of trouble. But don't worry, the UN hired me to help all you guys out with this." Snake added as he noted down everyone's complaints.

"Wait you mean you were hired to help us out?" Ike asked raising a brow.

"Yeah. I am a soldier after all. Why?"

Marth grinned as he chuckled to himself. Lucas and Red slowly scooted away from the Prince as he did so.

"Is he okay?" Lucario asked Meta Knight standing next to him.

"I'm... not entirely sure." the short Knight replied.

"I think... I think we can get more out of this..." Marth continued to chuckle.

"What do you mean?" Snake asked.

"Isn't it obvious!" Marth jumped forward much too close to Snake.

"Hey personal space bub..."

"We're all here just accidently having run into these guys... would if we..."

Marth whispered into Snake's ear. The soldier's eyes seemed to glow before he likewise had a similar grin.

"Hey what just happened?" Samus asked crossing her arms.

And soon everyone was in on Marth's little idea. Now nearly everyone out of this ragtag little band of heroes was in on the little idea and somewhat amused. Well save for one moral Pokemon...

"No. Why the heck would we do that? That's just insane." Lucario crossed his arms turning away.

"But Luc this could work!" Captain Falcon declared pointing a finger at the sun.

"Yeah and besides some of us have actual livelihoods that could benefit from this." Falco added wryly. The blue furred fighter glanced around disliking the collective grins of everyone gathered.

"But..."

"Kya!" Kirby suddenly popped out landing on Lucario's head. Why the round pink ball of kawaii chose that moment to appear Lucario would never know. But he continued on ignoring Kirby.

"We're a lot better than that. The world is at stake here people! Are you all just gonna get greedy cause of your own stubborness?"

The whole gang of heroes then began to wonder on this. Snake rubbed his much needed to be shaved chin while Link closed his eyes to reflect. Mario had removed his hat to scratch the top of his head while Marth and Ike huddled with Zelda and Peach. Then in a few seconds everyone replied.

"Of course!"

Lucario could not believe them.

"You know how long I've been rescuing this Princess and showing up in a million games? Nearly thirty years! And what do I get? Jack nadda!" Mario yelled out.

"Yeah and you think I like always being a damsel all the time? My solo game even sucked too!" Peach added on.

"Same here." Link and Zelda both replied.

"Well... I could use the benefits. You know... being unemployed right now." Samus said glancing away. Lucario could tell through her suit she was more than likely shifting uncomfortably due to her own morals probably kicking in.

"Hey I could use extra bonuses. Cause I fight for my friends!" Ike added triumphantly.

"I just wanna get paid." Falco answered flatly.

"Same here." Snake also added flatly.

"Bananas!" Donkey Kong yelled out banging his fists on his chest. Diddy Kong did so as well right next to the big ape.

"I can't believe you guys..."

And so a few hours later, a couple phone calls courtesy of Snake, and the gathered fighters were brought before an assembled gathering of major figures. Nothing much save members of the United Nations, the President of the United States, and representatives of game companies to which the smashers belonged.

Lucario gulped as he approached walking forward ahead of the group stepping up to the people brought forward.

"So you're the Pokemon. I am-"

"The President. Yes I know." Lucario shook the President's hand quickly. He then pulled up the papers given by his group stealing a quick glance at everyone else.

"Is there something wrong Lucario san?" Masahiro Sakurai asked. Lucario shook his head.

"No... uh... well here's the list of requests we'd like to make before we go and... save the world."

Lucario still couldn't by how strange it felt to be saying that. Actually the fact he was even here was pretty farfetched to begin with. And the fact that all these people with high power were easily brought here baffled him more.

"Right... that would be?" the head of the UN asked. Lucario shook his head glancing at the list.

"Um... right, well, there's a few notable mentions. Nothing too big..."

Lucario gulped. Though he was mostly composed he still couldn't take half of what was listed seriously.

"Um... Captain Falcon has some parking tickets he'd like taken care of-"

"Eighty seven tickets in twelve countries!" The Captain yelled from the background.

"Right, right..." Lucario waved a paw at him to be silent. The assembled leaders just blinked.

"Go on."

"Yes... uh, Red wants to be able to ride his bike wherever he wants-no matter what his mom or Professor Oak says. Princess Peach would like some aid paid to the Mushroom Kingdom. They're kind of in a recession you see..." Lucario nervously glanced at said Princess who waved.

"I think I can handle that." The President of the US answered. "Afterall US-Mushroom Kingdom relations is one of my top priorities."

_Is he serious?_ Lucario wondered before continuing.

"Well, there's also Game and Watch who want's the _Game and Watch_ to come back. Not sure if that'll work... Falco and Fox would like money to get a brand new Corneria with a better engine. Oh and Kirby would like every Friday to be declared... 'Fluffy Day'." Lucario blinked at the sentence on the page. It was written in pink crayon with an added smiley face.

"Fluffy day?" The UN leader asked. Lucario shrugged.

"Yeah. I'm not sure on that one either." The leaders glanced at each other for a few moments. Out of the many requests that one seemed most friendly.

Lucario cleared his throat glancing through the other requests. "Yes... and Link would like a year's worth of new equipment. Zelda would like something done about _World at Warcraft_ players sneaking into Hyrule. Um... you guy's wouldn't happen to know if Donkey Kong could star in a brand new game again without Mario would you?"

The gathered leaders glanced at each other contemplating this.

"Right... uh, oh Snake wants to get full pardons on... well every crime he's accused of at the moment."

"I'm innocent until proven guilty you hear!" Snake called out from the background.

"We get it!" Lucario yelled back.

"Continue please." The President responded. Clearly he and the rest of the assembled leaders had much more patience than the Pokemon of Aura. Maybe they were used to this kind of thing already.

"Okay... uh, and Samus wants all her repair bills on her gunship taken care of. Pikachu wants 20 tons of ketchup sent to his address..." Lucario squinted at the next request. "And King Dedede... would like to stay at the Fair Hamptons Hotel?"

Lucario glanced at the Penguin who stood in the background as did the rest of the smashers.

"What? I need to get away sometimes." King Dedede justified.

"Okay... uh... here why don't you guys just take the time to read the rest and see what you can do?" Lucario handed over the paper quickly.

"Right. We'll take care of all this." The President assured patting Lucario on his back.

"Lucario!" Mario yelled from the background. Lucario's shoulders jumped as he glanced around. Everyone else shared expectant looks piercing into Lucario's psyche. Sighing the Pokemon turned back to the assembled leaders.

"Um... there's just, one little thing."

"Yes?" The President asked. Lucario scratched his cheek for a moment wondering how to get out this last word before deciding to just come out with it.

"Right... everyone wants to be paid 20 million US dollars. Of course converted to whatever currency from our respective homes but-yeah. Oh and no one wants to pay taxes. Ever. Again."

Now the entire group stared baffled at the Pokemon. Sure they could probably handled half of the odd requests given but now this was a new pickle.

However it was that or risk the world getting anihilated or worse.

"It'll be done." The President responded. Lucario blinked.

"Wha-seriously?"

"Eh. You guys deserve some compensation right?" Sakurai added patting Lucario's head.

"Besides if you all don't get some kind of reward then that'll make us look really cheap in comparison!" Shigeru Miyamoto also added smirking.

"Wait... so this is pitty reward?" Lucario asked.

"Not at all son! Now get out there and save the world!" The President ushered the Pokémon away much to his now own more bafflement.

_What's with these people? They're stranger than fiction!_

* * *

**FlyingLion: Kinda obviously inspired by the very similar scene from Armageddon. Even when I beat Brawl I kinda wondered if any of the heroes wanted some reward and figured this was as close to what I'd imagine them requesting. Kind of.**


End file.
